Friday, March 12, 2010

Some Ways to Know You are a Chinese:

1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows).

2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.

3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.

4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the grocery bags to hold garbage.

5. You hate to waste fooda. Even if you're totally full, if someone they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will give a lecture about starving kids in Africa)b. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.

6. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.

7. You have a collection of minature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.

8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of hot water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant.

9. You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker.

10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.

11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.

12. You have a teacup with a cover on it.

13. If you're under age 15, you own an i-pod, if you're over 15, you own a really expensive camera, and if you're over 18, you own a really expensive car.

14. You're a wok user.15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm.

16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it means they're fresh.

17. You never call your parents just to say hi.

18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they're heaty (“Yeet-Hay” in Cantonese).

20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.

21. You always cook too much.

22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.

23. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat buffet.

24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics, computers.

25. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.

26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

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